Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty Palin comparison to the woman Sen. McCain selected as his running mate today. Gov. Sarah Palin, of Alaska, is a spritely 44 years old, and you know what? She doesn’t look a day over sexy. Sit back, relax and, like Joe Biden, master debate with sexy Sarah Palin.
A mix tape is one of those intimate gestures we remember from high school. You’d spend hours, if not days, going through your CD collection, taping songs off the radio, searching for that perfect combination of songs that would tell your recipient exactly how you feel. It spoke louder than a letter, or a note or later, an email. It was a soundtrack to your soul, saying what you couldn’t say, articulating what you yourself couldn’t put into words. A mix tape is how you told someone I love you. A mix tape is how you won their heart.
And so the Democrats set out once again trying to achieve what they have failed to do for the past 8 years, win America’s heart and convince us, the American people, that they are the ones we should choose. They wooed us with words throughout the Primaries; they courted us with commercials. For the past four days, however, they resorted to that good ol’ fashioned accoutrement of courtship, the mix tape, to tug our heart strings into a flutter and tell us we’re the one. What follows, a break down of the music of the Democratic National Convention and whether they succeeded in getting in our pants.
This’ll be the realest shit I never post. Shit that’s a lie but anyway, please rise for the anthem of the Democratic National Convention and Barack Obama’s apparently imminent inauguration. Join us in singing along the chorus with Young Jeezy:
“My president is black, my Lambo’s blue
And I be goddamn if my rims ain’t too
My momma ain’t at home and daddy still in jail
Tryna make a plate, anybody seen the scale?
My president is black, my Lambo’s blue
And I be goddamn if my rims ain’t too
My money’s light green and my Jordan’s light grey
And they love to see white, now how much you tryna pay?”
Oh ok…I’m sure that’s paid for by Obama’s campaign. Umm that should help a lot. Well maybe he’s just being a clown, let’s look at some of the verses right quick:
After Barack Obama announced Senator Joe Biden as his choice for running mate the media lauded the selection but warned of future challenges. “He will put his foot in his mouth once or twice on the trail,” pundits said of the loquacious senator from Delaware. Well, we know it’s going to happen, and we’re okay with that. After all, it’s with fondness we reflect on Sen. Biden’s racial assumptions that the most noticeable contribution South Asians make to America is by opening Dunkin’ Donuts franchises and selling lotto tickets at every Seven-Eleven.
What we cannot tolerate, however, is the “I Told You So” field day the media will have when Biden makes his inevitable gaffe(s). They’ll drive home their smug prose with headlines composed of forced puns and expect us to smile at their wit. Well, we won’t, Mainstream Media and to steal your blunder thunder we’re going to put a preemptive kibosh on any of the following Headlines.
Man, are my nuts sore. Last night I was massaged and cajoled, teased and manipulated. I was led triumphantly to the brink (the precipice!) over and over again, but each time I was abandoned at the edge, left with my head pounding and my gut throbbing, glory just out of reach. For 2 full hours last night I was a ravenous, beady-eyed, unsatisfied man, wanting only one thing. I knew it was coming, flesh and blood, if I could only wait. But instead, fatefully and finally, a seedy video pushed me past the point of no return, and by the time the real thing appeared I was asleep on the couch.
Last night, CNN blue balled the nation for 2 hours as we patiently awaited the address of Senator Edward Kennedy, who Read the rest of this entry »
Is it just us or did Michelle Obama look kind of Presidential last night during her keynote address on the opening night of the Democratic National Convention in Denver? Yeah, the content of her speech was what we expected, an extended version of the monologue Julianne Moore gave toward the end of Trust the Man (I am a wife and a mother first, and you can go fuck yourself!), but there was something else, one of those intangibles that pundits usually attach to her husband.
Then it hit us: Shnikes, what if Michelle Obama IS the Hillary of 2024? What if after 8 years in the White House as First Lady she changes her residence, picks up some poorly contested Senate seat, serves 2 terms then mounts a national Presidential campaign that, this time, gets that 20 millionth crack in the glass ceiling and that atrium comes crashing down?
You heard it here first, MoJaMa Mommas. Trillary 2.0 in 2024.
Gil Green’s that music video director you love but whom you can never think of when you try to list your favorite music video directors. Hype Williams, David Fincher, Mark Romanek, Spike Jonze, that dude Gondry….and it kind of peters out from there. Except Green’s probably made a good 70% of the videos that struck you as ingenious over the past 5 years. What follows: A MoJaMa salute to one of the best working music video directors today. The Criterion Collection after the jump.