Put the kids to bed; turn down The Daily Show and stop updating your Netflix queue for a second. It’s time to be just a little bit grown on the Modern Jackass Magasin front. There’s a burro in the room and it needs to be acknowledged. Indians like porn.
Yeah, we said it. The monkey’s out of the bottle. Pandora doesn’t go back in that box. Indians like their prono. They like calling it prono. They like waiting for it; they like watching it. They like Google-ing it, and they most definitely like You Tube-ing it. Boob tube? Indeed.
There’s a phenomenon that’s come to our attention here in the MoJaMagasin offices over the past few weeks and it has nothing to do with our new pet turtle. Herregoes: What in the name of sweet, salubrious Shiva is a Mallu Aunty and why, why, WHY are Indians watching so many of her vids on You Tube?
“Maybe she’s like the Indian equivalent of Obama Girl,” you’re telling yourself. Nope. Obama Girl wouldn’t have videos entitled “Mallu Servant Aunty Wearing a Hot Blouse,” or “Mallu Servant Aunty Wearing a Hot Blouse,” or “Mallu Servant Aunty Wearing a Hot Blouse.”
My fellow Bromo Sapiens on the Sub(way sammich) Continent, what are you doing? On any given day almost half of the most viewed videos on You Tube India feature Ms. Mallu Aunty. The other half are miscellaneous “Tollywood Sex Heroine Masala Movie B-Scenes.”
You know, we could take MHG (Moral High Ground) and lecture our perverted brothers across the pond, but average height here at Modern Jackass is 5’6” so we don’t even know what moral high ground looks like. All we can see is the bottom of its belly, and you know what? It’s kind of seedy.
Repressed Indian dudes who want to get their socks off to a low-grade FLV of their Aunt Mallu massaging oil on her scalp courtesy of Surya Movies, you’re not going to get a lecture from us. In fact we’ll continue holding your hand. Um, your other hand. You keep doing you too, and we’ll keep doing me three. It’s Friday, baby, and Mallu Monday’s right around the corner.