“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.” You know the sound. You’ve heard it on every remix from Ursher to Kanye. It’s Jeezy, baby. The Snowman’s guttural incantation is a call to arms up shoulder leaning and our Macaca on the Street witnessed it first hand on Monday at the House of Blues Chicago.
He’s holed up in a cubicle somewhere on Jackson Street and filed this report via G Chat as he recovers from the show. He’s on the scene, you heard? Get famiglia after the jump.
USDA Certified: Young Jeezy at the House of Blues
He put ONNNNN. I’ve never seen him in traffic, but I know Jeezy’s on some other shit. I was in a space ship, but not completely useless. So, I knew that when a skinny mulatto girl (What? No good?) bumps 3 large Mexican girls, I had to do like Roy Jones and LEAN back. If you’re 2 bouncer lengths away and not a really short Indian guy, you can usually watch the fight and enjoy it privately. The big girl will have superior reach and is bound to make David Banner proud. Real girls get down on the flo’? Oh fo’ sho’. Real stupid girls who think that they get to be pretty, skinny and win fights will be put onnnnnnn the ground (bitch should be named Danielle with that face from hell). At any rate, make sure you’re not wearing your limited edition Chris Henry jersey (dude is good. And dude is back.) because it will get spilled on.
After it is confirmed that the under 21 area is actually the under 17 area, pop up to the upstairs of the house of blues and get grown ‘n’ sexy. There’ll be bust-it babies and schemers trying to get into VIP, couples slowly gyrating on each other to Jagged Edge’s Let’s Get Married (yes, we’re at the Snowman’s show). There’ll be Omar Gooding lookin boys who’ll say it and spray it on you until you buy them a bud light, and a surprisingly relaxed dude in a wheelchair, who, when asked how he got hurt, will say, casually, “I got shot.”
And then he’ll hit your roommate’s monkey pipe. Seriously, no homo.
Young Jeezy showed up in a White Sox cap with a fresh bald head like he just left chemo, and not only delivered on classics like Soul Survivor, Go Getta, and I Luv It, but also a slew of remix verses and locker room anthems, including: the Umma Do Me Remix, the Dey Know Remix and thankfully the Superstar Remix.
While there were definitely songs that were too hood for even the most internet-savvy and over-privileged man children to know, Young Jizzle came with a performance that got everyone putting up their gang signs and getting the latin kings hyped. There were latin kings there. And they were harder than a dinner plate. The Snowman also took a minute to do a little bit of Corporate Thuggin and then told us all the story about how he used his first 10 grand to buy a Honda Accord. With sound financial and environmental decisions like that, no wonder Jeezy’s managed to stay relevant for an extended period of time.
Just to confirm Jay Jenkins’ love for the white girl, a horde of not-so-wholesome but wholly hot video hoes appeared in the last few songs of the concert. If you ever want this lifestyle, just cop a miracle whip (inside’s jello) and pop out the pretty mafacker, like “HELLO.”