Preemptive Kibosh: “Denvercrats”

 

We know the Democratic National Convention is about to get under way in Denver today, and normally that’s license for CNN to employ all sorts of puns and portmanteaus from “Obamaniacs” to “Barrack Star,” but we want to intercede where we can and preemptively put our foot down.  The knuck if you buck stops here.  The term “Denvercrats” is dead in the water.

The word doesn’t make any sense.  It’s just another example of puns run rampant in our Daily Showed/ Stewartian (pronounced like Martian, as in, “We are not the same; I am a Maaaartian”) culture that equates wit with witticisms.  The Democrats are in Denver they are therefore Denvercrats.  I know, it’s tempting, but ask yourself why you’d ever use this terminology.  What end game could it possibly serve?  A smirk from a bespectacled brunette at the end of the table at a Park Slope (sorry, Boerum Hill) dinner party?  An arched eye brow and raised amberback from a portly gentleman in a beard as he chuckles across the woodgrain between you, “hehe, touche”? 

If these, as opposed to informed, relevant discourse are your intended goals when bandying about superfluous plays on words, we implore you, stop.  For the rest of you taste wielding, knights of the neologism, please, please don’t let lazy puns go on unabated.  Tell those Demobrats to shut the F up.  Real men are on to spoonerisms right heuh.  Let us raise our glasses to the dear old queen?  Naw.  Let us glaze our asses to the queer old Dean!

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