As the story of Cain and Abel teaches those amongst us who have read the Good Book and are not total heathens…actually, I don’t know what that story was about. This being Modern Jackass, however, who cares? Cain and Abel, Jeb and George, Liam and Noel. The world and its history are littered with men who share both a surname and a strong dislike for each other. But why, we ask you, would Steve Young, a hall-of-fame veteran, go out of his way to heap more dung on top of Vince Young during the young quarterback’s period of personal trouble?
Naw, can’t be, you’re probably saying. Dude’s aren’t even related. What kind of sibling rivalry would that be? We’ll tell you, the kind of sibling rivalry that made Tom and Penelope Cruise/Cruz a bizarrely incestuous couple. Take a rough Modern Jackass summary of Young’s comments to Philip Rivers Monday night on ESPN:
“After Brady and Manning, I’ve been waiting to see the young quarterbacks step up. It’s good to see a young quarterback who’s gone through the highs and lows perform well and handle the pressures of the NFL.”
C’mon, dude went to BYU and lived in San Francisco where Dave Eggers has made it his personal mission to teach everyone how to read and write ufulfilling short stories. Steve Young knows what he’s saying when he uses double-entendres like “young quarterbacks.” He means Young quarterbacks as in Vince “Vinceable” Young. Perhaps Steve Young is disappointed that another quarterback has sullied his surname. We’re not sure, but we’re damn near positive he lauded Rivers’ mental strength while implicitly denigrating that of Vince’s.
What would Brigham say, Vince? Does Steve feel you’ve also sullied the surname of his forefather and founder of the Mormon faith? Probably not, but Philip Rivers doesn’t want you to have sex, and we’re pretty sure that’s something Birgham would be down with.