Rachel McAdams hits a Holmes run

Rachel McAdams is at long last the next big thing. It seems like years ago when we saw Mean Girls and Wedding Crashers and fell for those adorable dimples and sparkling eyes, and don’t get me started on my love for The Notebook (if you haven’t seen it, just netflix it and get on the futon with a mug of Cozy Chamomile and have yourself a good time). She’s been out of the limelight, though, since about 2006, and the momentum from the Wedding Crashers success seems to have slowed. But suddenly she’s back on track in a big way, and as a Modern Jackass, I think it’s important to take a little time from spooning Van Wilder to get wild about some girl on girl loviiiin.

Her new film, which just start shooting, is an adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes tales, written and directed by the thinking-man’s action flickmaker Guy Richie, starring Robert Downey, Jr. The man who, after what was one of the best summer blockbuster seasons in recent memory, emerged as the undisputed master of the box office, acting, and our hearts. I mean, Jude Law is playing his side kick in this movie. Jude Law. This fucking guy was cast as a robot constructed to represent every woman’s ideal man, and now RDJ will own him.

But enough about all the men who I am in love with – enter McAdams to be the goddamn ladyfriend. Sweet Mary, this girl’s gonna be a star. Commence the bonafide ho-down.

I don’t know much about much, but I do know I really want to cuddle all night long with Rachel McAdams. She helps me put aside my outrage over Knightley pursing her lips and getting nominated for Oscars or other hideous issues regarding the abilities of Scar-Jo or Katie Holmes. Rachel McAdams is the answer to my prayers. She’s eye candy and a charmer and, if all goes well, a good actor.

She’s what we wished Julia Roberts could have been. While Julia is stunning and certainly charming, the girl can’t cut it. You’d think that with Clooney, Soderbergh, and Letterman cozying up she must have the talent, but it’s just not there. She has Leo-syndrome: she commits enough to convince us she’s good. (Exhibit A: Erin Brockovich. And she won the damn Oscar, so it’s even more extreme than Leo’s Harold Hughes fiasco.) But I would still go see Julia Roberts movies and hope that she just might be good. Like when I saw Charlie Wilson’s War – the role is a ringer but the chops are a shrug. But it’s not her fault – she can’t be both adorable and a heavy-hitter… Few women embody such a balance, and we can’t all be Cate.

Rach is gonna be one of those, though, with Sherlock Holmes in her future. She is one of the minimal ranks of Hollywood actresses with more to offer us than prettiness. She’s got enough charisma to last me through at least five Nicholas Sparks adaptations. And now that I think about it, RDJ hasn’t really made it with a co-star since his recent surge to a level of undisputed glorification/obsession that rivals pre-campaign Obama love and post-nomination Palin coverage. Or is that just me? Now McAdams is gonna be the first official love interest. Well, unless it’s an Iron Man repeat, where there’s much respect and caring with the possibility of kissing, but no kissing, or, wait, maybe a little kissing? It sounds like it’ll be that cross-pollinated with Casino Royale. The hero’s not really a superman as much as a humanized womanizer who falls for his match. The untouchable spitfire. The Belle to his Beast. Wait, is Holmes a Saggitarius?

But more importantly, will she not be in the sequels then? Will she die just like the chick in Casino Royale to explain why Holmes is unable to commit? She’s just got to be in the sequels! Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, it’s just that all this talk of Ghostbusters 3, Blade Runner 2, Spiderman 4, et al makes me prepare to stretch my interest across at least four potential revamps.

So anyway, 2010 is the year of McAdams. Get excited, girls and boys.

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8 Responses to Rachel McAdams hits a Holmes run

  1. Getting excited over McAdams over Penelope Cruz is like sweating Jake Cutler over Jason Campbell. Maybe it’s because I don’t like those cupcakes like Gossling loves McAdams. Mean Girls. Saw it. Notebook. Saw it. Wedding Crashers. Saw it. Even though, I still can’t feel McAdams deserves any more credit than Monica Keena does for her 40 minute cameo in Grey’s Anatomy Season 2. The hype? I just don’t see it.

    As for the “thinking man’s action action filmmaker, Guy Ricci (sic).” Um. Yeah, let’s just leave it at that. Um…

    No, I can’t just leave it at that. Tony frookin’ Scott. I said it. I’ll step back, appreciate it and repeat it, too. Tony Scott. From Top Gun to Man on Fire, dude has done more than his part to compensate for the bombast of Michael Bay while moving the genre forward into the true existential gray areas with which Bourne wraps itself.

    But yeah, maybe Tony Scott can’t write a decent woman character and this is McAdam’s opportunity to kill as the femme fatale. Except she won’t because Guy Richie wasted Thandie Newton in even his most recent big-screen endeavor. Let’s get on our research interns and check if McAdams has a subprime on a beach house she needs to pay off quick because this dubious project looks suspect, Holmes.

  2. nah, i feel it. mcadams is the real deal. first off, comparing her to penelope cruz is like comparing apples to sweet, spanish valencia oranges- they just ain’t the same thing. but yeah, jake cutler’s a bitch.

    my one qualm? “leo-syndrome.” give the man some credit! anyone who’s seen “what’s eating gilbert grape,” “the basketball diaries,” or later episodes of “growing pains” knows that dicaprio’s got some acting nuts.

  3. Liz Lemonazi says:

    Mahotma, I don’t expect you to understand the girlie love for Rachel, nor the fact that my crush on her does not supercede any affection for Penelope Cruz, for whom I have much. There’s enough room in this heart to love many talented lady actors. Plus, whatever. Rachel McAdams is a fucking goddess.

    And Tony Scott? So I didn’t see Man on Fire, but I can imagine. And you failed to mention that he made Tristan and Isolde, which would definitely lose to Rocknrolla in a fight (considering the nature of the genre, I believe that’s what’s at stake here). Top Gun is indeed good, but “thinking man’s action films”? Naaaah.

  4. spritneybeers says:

    top gun is gay. homosexual. top gun has a boner for other action movies. don’t get me wrong, i love top gun….but i’m a fag hag.

  5. Um, Top Gun is a deconstruction of American Masculinity made by a British dude (right?) 35 years ahead of its time.

  6. Lemonazi, Tony Scott made Tristan and Isolde? Damn. My bad.

  7. Liz says:

    McAdams was particularly adorable in an early work, the Canadian TV show SLINGS AND ARROWS, a very well written show about a prestigious regional theatre and all its offstage drama. She was the company ingenue.

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