Los Angeles, I’m Yours


Or, Vacationing Correspondent Says: Upon Closer Inspection, I’ll Hear the Attributes of L.A. in Court

There are roadside bong stands in Los Angeles. As we trudged along LaBrea, forging our path down flat, sprawling blocks drenched in unadulterated sunshine, toward Spritney’s house on Orange (we were going south, perhaps? My knowledge of the city’s layout is shamefully lacking), we passed a street-facing cart about the size of an 8th Avenue sidewalk newsstand, advertising “cigarettes.” Upon closer inspection, though, it became immediately clear that cigarettes were not, in fact, this modest business’ primary commodity. Rather, the stand specialized in a particular variety of black market commerce that’s inextricably woven into the fabric of Los Angeles culture: marijuana.

The relative nonchalance with which Angelenos (as they’re apparently called) regard the forbidden herb is indicative of a greater trend in the cultural landscape of the City of Angels. The presence of medical marijuana in the city, often publicly displayed in the form of glowing neon pot leaves beckoning from the windows of “alternative” doctor’s offices along major L.A. thoroughfares, has essentially caused a mass acceptance of the drug and, in turn, has afforded marijuana the luxury to peaceably coexist alongside society’s more “wholesome” institutions, so long as it stays just below the radar enough to maintain orderly appearances. Pot is, after all, still technically illegal in California, even though pretty much everybody you encounter there either has a medical marijuana prescription, or knows a dude whose brother got one by saying he hurt his back moving his dresser across the room and now he totally gets so baked every day on, like, pot lollipops and shit.

Point is, Angelenos are kinda laid back about some things. And this complacence with the ebb and flow of life translates into a sort of warm, pleasant ambience that hovers over the Los Angeles County area. And this ambience, in turn, is amplified by the over-abundance of brilliant sunshine, which results in a sort of convergence of positivity—which makes it pretty much impossible to not be sort of in a good mood all the time. It’s annoying, actually. As a New Yorker, I really wanted to spend the duration of my trip to L.A. just scowling at things—chain-smoking cigarettes and grumbling about how I couldn’t wait to get back to the cold weather, tiny apartment and shit-smelling streets I’d left back home.

But, ultimately, I fell victim to the seductive call of Los Angeles, and luxuriously drank in its splendor and decadence. While I expected to be put off by the sleek, commercialized Hollywood glamour that seeps into every facet of Los Angeles life, I was, to my surprise and horror, swept up by the spectacle and delicious seediness of it all. Yes, everything in L.A. could very well be written off as “fake” by an outsider—the weather’s too good, the people are too pretty, the presentation of the movie industry is a little too in your face to the point that it encumbers the ability to discern fact from fiction—but it’s just such a good time that you sort of forgive L.A. its obvious, glaring shortcomings. There’s something just impossibly sexy about driving down Sunset in a Nissan Altima, wearing garish sunglasses and bobbing your head to anything with a throbbing bass line. And once you allow yourself to surrender to these unique, West Coast pleasures, it becomes difficult to be as staunch an L.A. hater as you’d hoped when you were first boarding your flight all the way back at La Guardia, convincing yourself, as any good New Yorker should, that you weren’t going to have that good of a time.

Before you write me off as some googly-eyed zealot, though, lemme set the record straight on a couple things. New York remains the best city in the world. Duh. New York is a vital, thriving, visceral shit show, and every moment spent within its limits is a reminder of the chaotic, breakneck pace of life in the city, and the vastness and scope of the humans who choose to call New York their home. And nothing makes you feel more alive. The close quarters, public transportation, garbage, towering infrastructure, massive crowds, alienation, high prices, epic history—these are the things that serve as the backdrop to your small, mundane, hapless existence—and make your day-to-day life all the more important as a result. As Talib Kweli put it, it’s a Beautiful Struggle, and there’s no place on earth I’d rather struggle than here.

It’s just that L.A.’s kind of a good time, that’s all.

6 Responses to Los Angeles, I’m Yours

  1. Walter Crunkite says:

    Take that, Annie Hall!

  2. my nose is running and some snot just fell on the crotch of my sweat pants. now it looks like i somehow strategically pissed myself. i’m just letting you know so you’re not totally taken aback when you come over.

  3. Spritney Beers says:

    i’ve been mulling this over:

    while i know what googly eyes are, and i know what it is to be googly-eyed, i have recognized of late that googly is, indeed, not a word.

    and i will continue to do bong hits of my medical marijuana until someone has something to say about it.

  4. Dudenation says:

    Funny you should mention pissing yourself because I may or may not have ACTUALLY done that as a result of the activities involved in this post…so right now the score is as follows

    NY: 1 (puking in the streets within hours of getting off the plane)
    LA: 1 (pissing myself while driving drunk)

    Both towns evidenced in a statistical tie as concerns having ‘a good time’, though the obvious dangers/financial/legal concerns associated with the latter could, depending upon interpretation, push LA into the ‘slightly cooler’ or ‘slightly scary’ pile…certainly solidifies its #1 rank in the ‘grossly stupid’ pile.

  5. rock out with yer clock out, Flav says:


  6. jess says:

    San Francisco I Am has a great video on whether illegal cannabis clubs are really hurting medical marijuana patients with California Attorney General’s recent crackdown down on medical cannabis clubs.

    You can check out the video here:


    San Francisco IAm also has a lot of other interesting video journalism bringing us stuff that the mainstream media isn’t.

Leave a Reply to Spritney Beers Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: