Don’t be sad; it had a great run. The problem is almost too well. Recently the term has lost any sort of specificity. The term originated to describe Alpha Dudes oblivious to cliches they performed. Though their dress originated with the spiked coif and button down it grew to include the trucker hat and leather bracelet.
Unfortunately, one of two things happened. Either the term was so fun to say that people used it without discretion, or the percentage of douche bags in the general population exploded and the term lost its efficacy.
Either way the term has been overused to the point where it no longer stands for anything – like an Al Sharpton press conference or Ralph Nader presidential bid. Even women are calling each other douche bags, which is a degree of post-post-modern femininity that my fragile pea brain cannot process.
Dearly broloved, today we say goodbye to Douche Bag for at least the next ten years, until it can come back organically like “Duy,” “Gnarly,” “Poser” and “Jacked.” At this time we have no suggestions for what words can take the place of Douche Bag in our lives. For the moment we grieve, but perhaps soon we’ll have the strength to move on with our critial judgment of Dee Bees. Douche Bag, rest in peace.