No Seth Rogen? No Michael Cera? No JUSTIN LONG*?! This could be tolerable.
I had this massive post already to go that was basically a draft of a letter to the Attorney General of New York, the honorable Andrew M. Cuomo, asking to request federal funds for the state of emergency created by the number of people flocking to theaters this weekend to see HJNTIY (He’s Just Not That into You). This movie’s going to make $90 million I said to myself, but then I saw the trailer to Fanboys, which apparently opened this weekend as well.
I consider myself a pretty vegetative being, constantly tuned into the television, internet or newspaper, but even I missed any marketing for this movie. For all I know the trailer exists solely on the most viewed page on Youtube. Sure the premise is hackneyed, and whatever, whatever, but the trailer is just short of seeeuuuuck.
Around the 3/4 mark, they drop this awesome image of the protagonists’ van driving through a billboard after executing “light speed.” The audio from the trailer mixes in the breathing of Darth Vader to underscore the imagery, in case the still’s too vague for you.
Then Space Hog “In the Meantime” kicks in for a review of the cast that makes the stars of “He’s Just Not That into You” look like season 27 of Dancing With the Stars.
Christopher McDonald, a.k.a:
Jason Mewes, a.k.a:
Kevin Smith, a.k.a:
In the interest of full disclosure, I was always more of an Ewoks: Battle for Endor fan more than Star Wars, but that’s probably because Return of the Jedi was the first installment of the franchise that I saw. Jabba the Hut, the implicit sexual misogyny of Leia in a metal bikini, those flying scooters – everything that came before would never interest me as much.
Not even this movie, but yo, I love Kevin Smith – like legitimately respect his craft as a writer/director so fcuk you bandwagon haters; get a legal pad, watch Chasing Amy and take some jezebellin’ notes – and the fact that he’s introduced as the Guy from Die Hard 4 makes my mind crack up like it’s watching Arrested Development Season 1 for the first time. Anyway, it’s Saturday and I’m on Youtube. Sigh.
*Yo, I kind of still dig all these dudes, but I recognize that they’re currently selling low in the market of media saturation.