On Monday night, everyone’s favorite brooding Hollywood leading man, Joaquin Phoenix (pronounced JOHN-quin, if you’re my mother), announced at some red carpet event that he plans to hang up his acting shoes—permanently—and pursue music full time. Wha?!? I mean, while my first reaction was something along the lines of, cool! Maybe he’ll grow a huge beard and long hair, and brood even more! upon further thought, I quickly realized that this is, in fact, a terrible idea.
Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Phoenix learned to play guitar while preparing to play the Man in Black himself, Mr. Johnny Cash, in 2005’s predictable, yet engaging, “Walk the Line.” Over the course of this process, Phoenix apparently realized that the guitar can serve as an excellent form of self-expression, and subsequently decided that he had a lot of “demons” inside himself that he just needed to set to music. So, back in May, Phoenix announced he was cutting an album of original material with Tim Burgess of UK band The Charlatans.
Sounds great, right?