According to NFL statisticians, the outcome of the Washington Redskins’ last home game before a presidential election has correctly predicted the outcome of 18 of the last 19 elections (the one exception was the past election in 2004). According to legend, if the Redskins win their final home game In Washington before the vote, the incumbent party’s candidate will take the election. If they lose, the challenger wins. This formula means things are looking good for Senator Barack Obama, as the Skins got handily routed by the Pittsburgh Steelers last night. After the jump, some more examples of superstitious presidential predictors that have turned out to be, inexplicably, pretty darned accurate:
Traditionally in American politics, it is uncouth for a Presidential candidate to directly attack the Vice Presidential nominee of the opposing ticket. Though this election season is many things, traditional it is not.
Wednesday morning the Obama campaign revealed a new ad attacking John McCain’s knowledge on economic issues. Toward the end the ad includes an image of Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin winking during her debate with Sen. Joe Biden. John McCain knows little about the economy, the ad says, and in 2007 he said he would choose a Vice President who could compensate for this deficiency. His choice? Winking Sarah Palin.
Not one to turn the other cheek, McCain today released his own ad attacking the “character” of Obama’s VP selection, Joe Biden. With less than a week until the election, it appears the McCain campaign has forgone the October surprise and brought out the big guns, the kind that can get you rung up on weapons charges in Atlanta.
McCain Attack: Does Joe Biden Pal Around With Rappers?
The following article was submitted anonymously:
This blog could use a shot of estrogen. So here I go, talking about Lady Issues.
There are some things that are hard to admit. Like sitting at home on a Friday night watching “The Ghost Whisperer” while drinking a vodka tonic made with clementine vodka and eating Carr’s cheese crackers. Like seeing the trailer for “Nights in Rodarthe” and planning on seeing it during its opening weekend. Like knowing way too much about Diane Lane and Josh Brolin’s varied marital disputes. Like having an abortion.
Ever had one? I’ve had two.
Flippant? Sure. But talk about abortion is generally confined to two manners of discourse: it is either above your pay grade or it is your exact area of moral expertise. When in reality, everyone should really just shut the fuck up. Especially John McCain and Sarah Palin.
No one ever actually talks about abortions because the people who talk about abortions don’t have them, and the people who have them don’t talk about abortions. Part of this is fear of social stigma and lunatics fire bombing their (my) homes. But I think it is largely because the choice to have an abortion is not a vote in an election, it is not a national policy referendum, it is an intensely personal decision that confirms and contradicts every single political cliche used to argue for or against it.
If I tell you my story, it is not meant to be representative. It is simply meant to be illustrative. And it is because I admire Sarah Palin’s decision to have a baby with Downs Syndrome, but I want her to stop shoving Trig’s face in mine. It isn’t my business, nor is the fact that I aborted two babies any of hers. My right to privacy is assaulted every day she denies that privacy to her own choices and family. Read the rest of this entry »
Is it just us, or is CNN hyping this Friday’s debate between McCain and Obama like an old boxing match between two heavy-weights? The young black man vs. the Great White Hope? Can you imagine how many parrallels a well thought out post could make between Friday’s debate and Ralph Ellison, Richard Wright, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, and Jack Johnson? Too bad I’m in a B&B in Maine about to hike through Acadia National Park for the day. Oh well, the seeds have been sown, you grow the tree of knowledge and pick its forbidden fruit. We can’t do everything for you. Who do you think we are, the federal government? Bail your own shit out. I got my $700 Billion saved up for a Whale Watching tour in Muscongus Bay. Late-ah.
Look, it’s not like we want to be writing about politics. It’s not like we wouldn’t rather be talking about Ciara’s Vibe spread or how the Strokes’ modal songwriting is vaguely similar to Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue, but no one seems to be talking about the details of the Campaign and how Effen Vodka misleading they are. So the knuck if you buck must stop here.
Case in point, John McCain’s recent add attacking Obama’s plan for Education. As our faithful readers will know, we here at Modern Jackass aren’t blind adherents to the unsubstantiated Gospel of Barack. We think he could do more. We even identify with certain principles of the Republican party (Gunz!). It’s not the ideologies that necessarily bother us but the libel the parties throw around disguised as legitimate debate. In McCain’s attack ad, which we won’t even link to because it contributes nothing to the conversation of education reform, he accuses Obama of helping to pass “legislation that would teach comprehensive sex education to…kindergartners.”
Wow, that’s a pretty powerful claim, we thought to ourselves, and so insidiously misleading that it can’t possibly be true. Sure, it’s not, but it also kind of is.
During her keynote address last night at the Republican National Convention, Sarah Palin delivered a fusillade of well-crafted bromides into the unctuous heart of the Democratic campaign. With wit and “aw-shucks” naivete she cast herself as a denizen of proverbial Middle America who couldn’t quite understand what all this buzz around Obama was about. When we went through our phone last night during the speech to text message our friends about the frighteningly adept performance taking place on our television sets we only received texts in response that read “Can’t Watch. 2 Painful.” Well, close but you were one letter off, Ann. That shit was 2 PaLinful. So for those of you who missed Sarah Palin’s womanifesto last night we’ve broken down some of her more notable barbs. Yao, Demobrats. Get served after the jump.