Blue Blood Blue Balls

August 26, 2008
David Gergen.

David Gergen.

Man, are my nuts sore. Last night I was massaged and cajoled, teased and manipulated. I was led triumphantly to the brink (the precipice!) over and over again, but each time I was abandoned at the edge, left with my head pounding and my gut throbbing, glory just out of reach. For 2 full hours last night I was a ravenous, beady-eyed, unsatisfied man, wanting only one thing. I knew it was coming, flesh and blood, if I could only wait. But instead, fatefully and finally, a seedy video pushed me past the point of no return, and by the time the real thing appeared I was asleep on the couch.

Last night, CNN blue balled the nation for 2 hours as we patiently awaited the address of Senator Edward Kennedy, who Read the rest of this entry »

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